Wednesday, July 8, 2015

One step forward, two steps back . . . the attachment roller coaster

I love my sweet girl.

I love the sound of her laughter.

I love it when her face breaks into a smile.

I love hearing her precious little voice sing and prattle endlessly.

I love lying beside her as she falls asleep, looking at me with droopy eyes, whispering, "wo ai ni". 

I love you too, dearest one.

I hate seeing fear in her eyes. 

I hate that she can't quite comprehend yet that we are her forever home. No one will ever take her away. But in time and by God's grace she will understand. 

Some days are good, some days are bad. 

Some days are easy, some days are hard.

Right now, I am her safety blanket. 

Am I tired most of the time? 

Of course, but just to see her smile when I enter the room makes my heart melt and the weariness fall away. 

Sometimes my wrist tendinitis flares up from holding her all the time, but I don't care.  I cherish every minute holding her. I missed out on so many. 

She is a precious gift from God and we are so grateful that God choose to let us walk with her during this time. 

She grows in leaps and bounds each day. She parrots our English phrases with astonishingly excellent diction and she learns the meaning of new English words daily, but without Anthony, we would be even more lost in the sea of miscommunication. 

As her two month anniversary with us approaches, I am amazed at her progress. She is right where she should be. She is learning to trust, rest and relax in our love. 

One day soon, I pray she will know and comprehend the love of Father in heaven. He has great plans for her. I can't wait to see them unfold. 


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