Tuesday, May 19, 2015

A Joyous Yet Difficult Day

Many girls dream of their wedding day and then of what life will be like once married. We picture our children and lives in an array of different ways, but we are almost always wrong, right?! Our new husband doesn't take out the trash when asked or our new baby cries all night.

But sometimes our imagining can be uncertain. That is how it is with adoption. You are prepared for many differ scenarios, unsure of how it will play out. But even being "prepared" for a reaction doesn't make it any easier.

We knew our sweet Eva Hanting would be sad. But knowing that doesn't make the reality any easier.

We knew she would grieve for her foster family who clearly loved her very much. But knowing that doesn't make my heart ache any less for her.

Walking into the room at the civil affairs office and seeing her sitting there with tears streaming down her face made my heart break even more.

So we held her and tried to love on her as best we could in that moment. That is all you can do. We can show her love and demonstrate that we will take care of her, but it is only our Heavenly Father who can truly comfort her little heart.

As I sit now in the quiet of our small and cramped hotel room, thinking back on yesterday and watching my two sweet girls sleeping peacefully (nap time is a must right now), I am so thankful to my God who carried us through the always difficult first day of an adoption. The outpouring of love and support from friends and family was also felt. God held us yesterday as a family and I know He will never let us go.

We had moments of tears due to grief, exhaustion and confusion but we also had moments of joy and smiles as her little mind tried to process what was happening. She is an absolute joy.

I am so thankful for the foster family who loved her and cared for her until it was God's appointed time for her to join us.

The sweet foster mama made these amazing books of photos and of her artwork with detailed descriptions. It is truly amazingly. What a gift for us and for her.

As we woke up today, we saw a different little girl. A silly, happy and playful one who called us Mama, Baba, brother and sister. There will be more grief to come, of course, but in her heart, I believe she knows that we will take care of her and love her.

Tomorrow morning (Wednesday in China, Tuesday evening the U.S.) we have a special event planned for us and we would call on all our amazing prayer warriors to join us as we cover Eva in prayer tomorrow. One of Eva's six birthday wishes (apparently, in China you can have multiple wishes!) was to have her first family, as she calls them, and her new family come together and make dumplings, her favorite. So we, of course cannot miss out on this amazing opportunity, but we know it will be difficult for her.

So how are Grace and Anthony doing with all this? Anthony has been AMAZING! He talks to her constantly in Chinese helping to ease her frustration over not being understood which is something he struggled with when we first adopted him. Grace is struggling a little as to be expected because she had certain ideas of how it would be to have a little sister and her little sister can't understand her and takes attention away. But that is a natural response and we are jet lagged so a little grumpiness can be found all around from time to time.

Thanks again for all your support and prayers and stay tuned for the events of Dumpling Day!

1 comment:

  1. Praying for a beautiful day for two loving families together and for your sweet girl to feel and KNOW that love, today and always!




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